Voice of Heavens

Voice of Heavens from “Buds of Age”

„I am not Buddha nor Christ,  I am Woman Ordinary“ said she into her chest while putting the plates in the kitchen cabinet. She was all alone with a kid in his bed, washing dishes, surprised about the voice who was telling her that she is the most precious been on the world, that she is famous and that she is something special. That idea was not close to her never, she always thought that is less worth and she didn't understand what is happening with her and where does that voice come from.

The windows were open, it was the bright summer morning, the sun stayed high in the sky on the south side of her view. The kid was asleep and she wanted to use a little bit of her time to get the house in order.

Suddenly, the sun was strong, that voice from somewhere. She wasn't ask herself much about the silence in the house and from the backyard, she knew that that voice is not to be heard in the normal way of hearing, it was obvious that somebody else is in her or somewhere around her. She looked at the sun but it didn't speak. It was symptomatic that she looked to the sky, that voice was spreading on the sky and was entering in her kitchen.

It was dark, that didn't surprise her, she was under the influence of the voice. She told to herself that words and the sun appeared again, but it was more on the center of the sky.

„What a nice summer day“ she thought and looked in the sky. The voice was going on with telling her about her life. It was saying that she is on the big mountain but not yet on the top. She looked up and saw the hill in the sky made of clouds. The voice continued that it was very hard to climb the mountain and that there are some steps more to make to the top. Than she heard a message:

„You are going to the top of the mountain. You are on the top of your life. Your past is down and there is another side of mounting. Still it will be very hard, bed times are coming, but you will go to the top in the glory and great love of mine because you are the bride of mine. Prepare yourself to be the most worth and the most clever and the most nicely dressed bride because you're are the first in the world. Still it will be hard like you are used to, but it will last for a very short time because you're close to the top.

After you reach the sky, it will be much easier and you will see that you are on the other side of mountain and that you are going down and that it is not hard at all. It will be easier and easier to live through your whole life and never more there won't be problems.“

She looked at the sun, it  was high on the sky and she concluded that it is about noon, but she knew somehow that the time has much longer past, she knew that it must be more than forty eight hours have passed, but sun didn't move more than like an hour past. The kid was still and slept all the time since she heard the voice.

She didn't ask the voice anything because she didn't know is she is speaking to somebody and who he is in her life. She rather said to herself that she has to clean the kitchen and prepare for a walk with the kid.

The hours passed, she fed a kid and went in a short walk because it was too hot. She met lady neigbour on the steps, she had a little kid also. That was all she remembered from the walk because the sun was on the other side of her view, it didn't start falling down yet.

It was a very long day.

The kid went to sleep, but time she couldn't know, she didn't have a watch, the clock on the wall showed that time is going on, but sun was still on the high place in the sky even it had to be night.

She looked at the sun, again washing and preparing the food, thinking about her family that was on vacation and thinking about the money that she had not. That voice was not with her any more.

After some time she saw that she slept for a while or she was only laying on the bed. She saw that it is very late. The night came and it was around midnight. It was very hot, there wasn't a relief from the warm air and hot night was choking her . When she fed a kid it was time for a walk. She wanted to see if on the streets is a little less hot. It was obligation for her to take the kid on the fresh air. He was asleep in her arms , but she knew that he had not eat enough, she had no food and she had not enough of milk. The kid used to eat every two hours although he was six months and he was big and looked healthy so she knew that she has not enough milk.

She knew very well what date it was and what time it was and she couldn't explain herself how last day was very long but she didn't think much about that, she still wandered where was that voice from and she still was felt like the princess of the whole world.

But it was time for a walk and she forgot all the thoughts and went on the street with a kid in her arms. It was August 1992 the eleventh day and on the streets there wasn't anybody, even there wasn't young girls and boys who always used to go out in the hot summer nights. There was not a been on the street. She concluded that all went on vacations. She was all alone, it seemed.

She saw that there is no fresh air and decided to go for a little longer walk. The kid was still and was a little heavy but it was not important, she had no intention to go far away from the first playground for the kids. There were some trees and she hoped that it will be less hot. Streets are always hot in summer, but in the park is comfortable.

She turned toward small private houses and saw one house where was the wall of the front porch, freshly colored in white. With a black spray somebody wrote on the wall. There were only two words:

„DIE HARD“

That wasn't here last night. She felt the needings to explore if there is somebody at home because she understood that sign is for her and her only, she felt like she had to do what she had to do and that was a challenge.

The door was open and she entered inside. On the inner side of porch there was an old lady sitting and she turned around and stood up looking at the Woman with baby entering.

„Here you are, welcome, go, go in. Do you want some cakes?“

Woman Ordinary noticed that it is unusual situation and she started not to believe what is happening but the voice from yesterday was so strong and secure that she went on further to see what is happening with her life. She didn't touch anything and went into the room. The old lady said:

„Here I live, you're welcome to look at my house. Here, this is the picture of my son.“

The old woman was  for real the woman that she knew, but from another address. Now she started to wander where is she really because on the picture was her first husband in his early years. The picture was old and little yellow but in the black and white color. Suddenly, Ordinary Woman looked at the picture carefully saw that the person on the picture changes the face and gets angry.

The old woman said:

„That is my son, he is a nice boy“.

Ordinary said that she has no time and has to go. The picture was either hallucination either it was a very bad sign of magic and she didn't want to look at on the others people lives when they have no chance to answer and explain what she wandered: is he really angry and bad? It looked like she has some power to see the pictures and know the person, but it all didn't make sense. Ordinary never wanted to do things without sense but that old woman looked like she is real and the kid in her arms looked still and same and was a little heavy and that all couldn't be a hallucination. She walked, she felt that legs she has and muscles, it couldn't be unreal. Than she run away and went to the playground with benches and trees.

After years that old woman said that she never lived in that house.

Chapter 2

She believed that voice. She couldn't help it.

She was ready to say that she has a pain and hallucination but that voice was right. All happened just like it said. It was hard on her last trip to the top of the mountain. It was hard for more twenty years and then all problems disappeared. She get a brand new and different life.

and it make sense.

Everything what was happening were disturbings without sense, except that voice. It has never said what she has to do, she knew from the beginning that she is beloved and free to do whatever she wanted but it was a sort of obligation not to do anything bad or wrong that would have no sense.

She never has heard any other voices .

But she heard other things with that same sense like smells, pictures in dreams, other people's words and pictures when they were not with her but far away from her. She get used to that.

Ordinary knew about Saint Paul, about his converting, she remember it well because she was very fond of Saint Paul, she found similarities with him. He was educated and she was educated in a sort of experience and theory that she always wanted to check in practice. Neither theory nor practice helped her to find the sense of life and death, more about in what way the life has to go, in which direction it has to go, it can't be everything without the order and without her most important decisions about life and purpose.

Saint Paul seen the light and saw God in the way he only knows and he heard a voice, but Paul spoke with the Lord and Ordinary was too shy and modest to speak somebody if not asked. Her converting begun when she baptized and said the Lord that she know that she has to go on the cross exactly like He went. She didn't know what will happened, she didn't know how very much is in sin and that the converting is so totally.

She knew that is her converting. Everything she read from Saint Paul is her experience and her faith. She believe every word of Saint Paul, even many say that in his time was something completely different to have faith. It is not. The Bible is for all times. What is in it that works for everybody here and there no matter what people believe. She had a big trust.

She found, after many years, people who live in the same way they speak and speak in the same way they live. They also have trust in the voice and they trust every word in Bible. It is not impossible that the star above gender exist and that the sun stops in some circumstances. It is only a question who experiences that and who doesn't. If people are in sin they can saw the sun stops and hear the voice, but they do not believe or they do not know the theory or they have no sense in their spirit.

Her converting still last and will till eternity. That she know from her faith. The faith is not philosophy or imagination or suggestion, it is a way of living. It is another dimension from all others but it is in the same time here, among sinners and believers. It doesn't matter which religion do you worship or how much are you superstitious, but the best in faith is your own engagement and cooperation in God's creativity. God trust you and respects your will, your will is His command but His will has to be your command, that's the only way of existing in faith, that is that small door that led to the kingdom of heavens, the digressions are not allowed.

Voice told her that she is the best so He has to be the first, the best and the last for her. That is a partnership in respect and love. It results with a freedom on the whole world, a kind of freedom to love and to give yourself completely, the freedom to be faithful and to obey every word because people are searching freedom and democracy in the wrong way, they think that freedom is not to be tight with anything. That is not the freedom for any person. The freedom is to be connected with another person and to depend on him. But nobody you can give a trust, only to God.

Chapter 3

Ordinary Woman get the medicine and she lost her senses a little because she had to lost the very big abnormal fear of unknown things, that is some kind of feeling that something very bad is happening all around you and in your heart and that is the Life himself, the God whose voice is terrible for people.

But she still has that sense of hearing the words, smells , seeing the signs and knowing the will of the Father and many other wills of humans.

Only it is important to have your will and to look for the common sense when you hear something. Many signs look like they have no sense, but if they repeat it must be something in your heart what you have to solve. You have to learn about it , that's your priority, you have to take all your power and all your knowledge and experience , all of yourself to find what is God is trying to say to you. It is often something important for you and your life. You can't run away from it. You supposed to have at least a hope and optimism if not faith in God, you can do anything but you have to believe and not to be scared or be still and passive. People do not pay attention  and they eat and drink and have sex and think they are gods and that they can look at the God like He is a little powerless baby in the gender and worth nice emotions once a year. That is when people hear the voice but do not see it and do not believe in themselves. Many people don't have self confidence. They are afraid of hunger, war, shame and they afraid to loose themselves, to surrender to anything, specially people do not know how to surrender to Holy Spirit. It asks many years of listening and following your heart, and then you can even follow your hearings, your forebodings.

END 26.03.2013. 9:24